On this Good Friday I decided to dig deep for some personal reflection. I have come to the conclusion that I am not perfect. Shocker, I know. Actually, I’ve determined that I am quite flawed. But rather than sit here and pick myself a part, I thought it would be more fun to make a list of people that I am better than:
Michael Phleps – I may not have 14 Olympic gold medals, but no one has ever taken my picture sucking on a bong and even if they had, no one would care. Also you've turned into a real asshole.
Lindsay Lohan – Besides not being nearly as freckled as you are (which is something in itself)...The lesbian thing is rather pathetic and you are one big mess.
Octomom – Unlike you, I’ve never been a stripper and if I wanna go to Nordstrom and pick up some MAC lipgloss, no one really cares (also I don’t have a litter of children).
Rihanna – You may be a rich and famous pop singer. But your loser gum commercial boyfriend kicked your ass, you’re back with him and they are not.
John Mayer – Congratulations…You’ve gone from musician to Mr. Jen Aniston to Mr. ex-Jen Aniston. See ya on VHI when you get a dating show. Levi Johnston – Ha! I actually feel sorry for you. Your mom is facing felony drug charges and you’re well…dismal. Maybe you can be Mayer’s wingman/Gilligan.
I’m going to quit now because this is getting boring. But trust me I could go on.