Monday, May 24, 2010

Normally, I don't kiss and tell but. . .


First things first, I'm fully aware that I owe you 90+ vodka reviews. Trust me, I'm on it. As soon as I get organized, whatever that means...I will post.

Anyhow...blah, blah, blah I went to NYC, if you follow me on Twitter you know this, if you don't...well then, you obviously should remedy that problem. The trip consisted of four days/five nights of debauchery and one day of tourism. I went with the husband who worked a lot, which ended up being okay as it allowed me to sleep off the previous night's indulgences.

I'm not going to bore you with the usual...we ate here, we drank here, nonsense. And, I don't like to kiss and tell, even metaphorically. But, I do like to brag. . .loophole!

While in Manhattan, we had the pleasure of meeting (ahem...drinking with) the guys and gals of FNC's Red Eye w/Greg Gutfeld. If you've never seen it before, slap yourself and set your DVR for 3am ET Monday-Friday (subtract an hour or three if you live elsewhere). It's a fun, quirky show that discusses the day's news stories, some of which you may have heard about and some of which you'll wish you didn't.

Anyway...where was I? Oh yeah, bragging. . .In addition to Greg, Bill and Andy, we met Alison Rosen, Tom Shillue and Diana Falzone. All were friendly and warm like a cup of hot cocoa with extra marshmallows. What?!? You don't like marshmallows? Not even in hot cocoa? Get off my page, freak!

I feel bad not giving you any scoop, not that there was any to give...or was there? I wish I could remember. I'll share these three things, if you promise not to tell. Deal?

1) If you stare directly into Andy Levy's eyes a blue bird sings. Probably.

2) Greg Gutfeld turned water into urine...well more than likely.


3) Bill Schulz is an impressive drinker, well y'know for his size. Also he gets the award for last man standing.

The night ended with me drunk in the ladies' room with a chatty Jersey Girl in a tight red dress, a tumescent bust and tragic eyebrows. The husband rescued me before I got guidette poofed.

The next day, after roughly ten diet Cokes and ten Advil, I met and had dinner with Karol (Alarming News), our husbands and...a not-so-mystery mystery guest. After dinner, we drank and laughed and laughed and drank. After being deserted for a baby and a cave, the husband and I drank some more. Oh yeah, and I ate a gyro from a roach coach. Nom, nom, nom? Sure, why not.

When I got home on Monday night, along with a stack of junk mail and bills was Greg Gutfeld's new book The Bible of Unspeakable Truths. Buy it, read it, it's far.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

What a Dick.

Out: "It depends upon what the meaning of the word is, is." In: Whoops, I meant "during".

Dick Blumenthal, You're NO Cristy Lane!!!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Dear Husband:

Dear Husband:

Ahem, tomorrow is our 15th Wedding Anniversary. Yes, it is. We got married in the math.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah...the gift. The traditional 15th wedding anniversary gift is crystal. Since I'm not your grandma, let's go with the modern 15th anniversary gift: glass. A (bottomless) glass of vodka.

Happy anniversary!



P.S. Did you know that we got married on Star Wars Day? May the 4th Be With You!