A Lesson on Pirates

Pirates…I know what you’re thinking…Johnny Depp in movie named after a ride at Disney World…WRONG! These pirates are skinny Africans with ties to al-Qaeda…they are from…hold on to your hats…Somalia. You remember Somalia, that wonderful country on the East Coast of Africa (also located in Uptown Minneapolis). You remember…this one.

Call me crazy…but I have a hard time calling these assholes pirates. A pirate says arrgh, some have peg-legs, a parrot or an eye-patch. Pirates have their own flag and Articles of Agreement. They like to drink rum, sing songs like Yo Ho (a Pirates Life for Me) and hunt for buried treasure. They are NOT skinny, third world Africans that go around hijacking ships with the hope of collecting millions of dollars in ransom.

Just so we’re clear:

This is a pirate.

This is not (sorry I couldn’t resist). Ok…he’s not either.

Until I can buy a pirate costume that comes with the Qur’an, an RPG launcher, fake flies, hunger pangs and a plethora of diseases…I’m calling these ‘pirates’ what they are in actuality…dirty little Muslim terrorists.