Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Couldn’t you argue that all murders are out of hate? Happy people don’t kill others. This new waste-of-paper bill doesn’t serve any purpose; life without parole is already the sentence in non-death-penalty states for first degree murder with malice. Malice is defined as ‘evil intent’ – killing someone because of their race, religion or sexual orientation is malicious.
Here’s a concept, how about letting the states govern themselves…I mean really, if the feds aren’t going to make the consequence more severe…than, what is the point?
Read the comments on this turd’s blog. Everyone hates him, but I guess in his case it’s not a crime…thank goooooooooooodness!
Monday, April 27, 2009
my Wellies which came in handy (or footy) lately
this is what's left of the laundry monster (tis going to the dry cleaners)
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Here are a few snapshots…fire is scary, if there is a hell, I don’t wanna go there.
upstairs bedroom - intercom
Monday, April 20, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
You chose John McCain as your candidate. Then you thought, albeit too late, that maybe he wasn’t the best choice because you really weren’t sure whether or not he was a Maverick…whatever that means. You let the DNC control the campaign and well…you know the result.
So, I have to ask, what did you expect? Barack Obama ran on growing government, an arguably socialist agenda, and the ‘patriotic’ act of raising taxes on families. He, alongside Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are doing just as they said they would. And, now you want to raise some hell?
I’m not sure what you expect to gain from these tea parties. But if it makes you feel good to gather around with likeminded individuals to wave signs, give speeches, sing songs and do whatever else it is that people do at these things. Have at it. Personally, I have better things to do with my time, like watch paint dry.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Michael Phleps – I may not have 14 Olympic gold medals, but no one has ever taken my picture sucking on a bong and even if they had, no one would care. Also you've turned into a real asshole.
Lindsay Lohan – Besides not being nearly as freckled as you are (which is something in itself)...The lesbian thing is rather pathetic and you are one big mess.
Octomom – Unlike you, I’ve never been a stripper and if I wanna go to Nordstrom and pick up some MAC lipgloss, no one really cares (also I don’t have a litter of children).
Rihanna – You may be a rich and famous pop singer. But your loser gum commercial boyfriend kicked your ass, you’re back with him and they are not.
John Mayer – Congratulations…You’ve gone from musician to Mr. Jen Aniston to Mr. ex-Jen Aniston. See ya on VHI when you get a dating show. Levi Johnston – Ha! I actually feel sorry for you. Your mom is facing felony drug charges and you’re well…dismal. Maybe you can be Mayer’s wingman/Gilligan.
I’m going to quit now because this is getting boring. But trust me I could go on.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
I take my singles advisory job very seriously, because…well, I am *the* coolest chick…trust me …and I do have all of the answers. I suggest following these tips until you are prepared to fly or see a freak flag.
2) Your mobile device should only be looked at if you’re a parent of a school-aged child...and even then, minimally so.
3) If you do have kids, try not to talk too much about them. Your date knows that your kids are great and that you love them.
4) Everyone loves dogs…if you have a dog…talk about it…if you have a cat…well, I guess that’s ok too *wink*.
5) Keep any medical conditions and medications private…tonight is not the night for disclosure.
6) I’m not one of those that believes that its taboo to discuss politics and or religion. However, if a disagreement on these subjects is a deal breaker you may want to vet your dates before you go out with them.
7) Don’t. get. drunk.
2) Be complimentary…in a tasteful way. Keep it simple…tell her that she looks great. Being specific can put you in a weird place. Saying something like ‘Oh…you got a haircut’ (this may make her think that you don’t like it and it’s a danger zone because maybe she doesn’t like it)
3) Be funny…but not awkward. Don’t tell jokes, imitate Chris Walken or quote any character from your favorite movie (save these for your first ‘freak flag’ presentation)
4) Be chivalrous…but careful. Feel her out (not up). If it’s natural for you to open the car door when she gets in - do it (but understand it may be weird if you do it when she’s getting out). Pay. If she is insistent, insist back and tell her she can reciprocate next time.
5) Be sensible. If you’re meeting for drinks – don’t suggest the bar that you get hammered at once (or thrice) a week. The bartender should not know what you drink and it should be a high-five free zone.
2) Be agreeable…and flexible. If you’re dieting, tonight is the night to splurge. He has a mother and is aware of the female species; he doesn’t want to hear about your latest fad diet.
3) Be confident…not conceited. If he compliments you, say thank you…don’t agree or disagree with him about said compliment. Do not talk about your weight. And PLEASE if you think there’s a chance of a visit…be sure the Netherlands are groomed.
4) Be honest…especially if the subject of sports comes up. Just because you know who Tom Brady is and you think he’s hot, doesn’t mean you know anything about football. If you do know sports…giddy-up.
5) Let him pay, but, if you go somewhere after dinner buy at least one round of drinks.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
During his presser at the G20, I was disappointed that President Obama was not asked about the protesters (President Bush certainly would have been). I can not speak for Obama. But I think they are pretty awesome.
Another sign President Bush is no longer in office....no Bush effigies being burned. I guess it would've been considered racist to burn ones of Obama plus they do *love* him and the Mrs. Michelle got to touch the Queen and I heard the royal residence was referred to as Barackingham Palace.
The G20 in pictures:
'What About us' says Michael Jackson ?
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I’m in an unpleasant mood today…my husband refers to it as ‘being in a funk’ which…let me just tell you makes me feel…well...never mind. I decided to sit down and investigate my bitchiness. This is what I’ve uncovered so far:
I ‘m hungry.
I have some housework to do.
I need a haircut and a pedicure.
I may or may not have salmonella poisoning (I eat pistachios almost daily).
I have some householdy errands to run.
In other news…I’m very happy about the following things:
Sugarbetes is on the trading block!
Oh well…that is all…for now. I'm off to try to make the rest of my hump day as productive as possible. *fingers crossed*