Tuesday, March 24, 2009

From Cuba with Love

Attorney General of Infidels
Eric Holder
Department of Justice
Washington DC 20005

24 March 2009

Infidel Holder

In addition to my usual request for martyrdom, my Islamic brothers and I demand to stay in Cuba. Have you visited this lovely land? The tropical climate is so much nicer than that of my homes in Kuwait, Afghanistan, Pakistan and that undisclosed location with the car batteries and pig’s blood.

I have learned many new customs. For example, I never knew of this magic paper to wipe my backside. Because of this I have discovered a new use for my left hand…ha…ha. The large breasted Red Cross lady frowns upon me doing this while she checks my prostate. But I have overcome the need for her services, as I am now quite flexible.

Occasionally we get to watch a great American film. The latest was called Napoleon Dynamite. Initially I was disappointed, as it was neither about Napoleon nor dynamite. But when life gives me lemons (or airplanes) I make pulp…I am now happy to report that I am the tetherball champion of Gitmo.

You and President Obama must not shut down my new home at Guantanamo Bay. Tell the President that I voted for him via absentee ballot. Some nice people from ACORN sent me a care package.

You can reach me on Facebook.com/jihadjerry or follow me on Twitter @The_Real_KSM

Death to America

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed
CEO al-Qaeda Cuban Division
Tetherball Champion – Guantanamo Bay

No comments:

Post a Comment