Monday, March 8, 2010

Hello Dumb Dumb

Athletes, politicians and other celebrity types, including the super wealthy are subject to a level of scrutiny that most regular folks cannot fathom. Sex scandals, weight stories and meltdowns sell magazines. Shutterbugs live for the opportunity to catch the latest starlet sans makeup, in a bikini, snorting coke off so-and-so's husband's [fill in the blank]...mega bonus cash if one of them has maintained superstar status.

What was the biggest news story of last year? The sexcapades of Tiger Woods. The three-month-old story was so sensational that it is still worthy of headlines, late night joke fodder and was most likely the cause of the recent worldwide occurrences of earthquakes.

Personally, I don't care that Tiger Woods is a cheating turd biscuit, what I find interesting is: a) how long he hid his indiscretions from TMZ and b) that there weren't any allegations of sexual assault in the mix. He must be nice to his mistresses or something...

This brings me to the topic of Ben Roethlisberger. I have been publicly spanked in the past (mostly on Twitter) by a lawyer friend because of my opinions, which are largely based on the douche-factor, on the alleged criminal behavior of a certain journalist. Full disclosure: I'm judgmental.

Ben Roethlisberger has been accused, again, of sexual assault. I don't know if he's guilty or not...I wasn't there. But I do know this: Roethlisberger is an epic dumbass.

Exhibit A: The Motorcycle Crash
In June, 2006, Roethlisberger was seriously injured in a motorcycle accident. He was not wearing a helmet nor was he licensed to operate this particular class of racing-style motorcycle. Ben suffered multiple facial fractures including a broken jaw. His coach, Bill Cowher had discussed concerns with Ben about his hobby after the motorcycle accident that sidelined Cleveland Browns tight end, Kellen Winslow, Jr, the year before.

Exhibit B: The First Sexual Assault Accusation
In July, 2008, a Harrah's Casino employee claims that Ben Roethlisberger raped her after she was called to his room to fix his television. The alleged victim, Andrea McNulty strikes me as a whackjob...and I honestly didn't believe her story until...

Exhibit C: Hello Dumb Dumb
Last Friday, Ben and some friends were barhopping in Milledgeville, Georgia, where according to a 20-year-old college student, Ben sexually assaulted her in the bathroom of the Capital Club. According to one article:
...reports have called the woman "hysterical" as she described to police what happened, and the police also described her as someone who "did not look like" someone who would make up this kind of story.


Ben Roethlisberger is guilty of epic stupidity and bad judgment, at the very least. After the motorcycle accident, Roethlisberger returned to practice in August 06. He wore a neon green helmet cover which served as a big, bright stop sign to the defense, he was still on the mend from facial reconstruction surgery. After searching many, many photos of Big Ben I was able to find *one* of him wearing the green sheath:

This image reminded me of another:

I bet Big Ben The Pittsburgh Steelers organization wishes The Great Gazoo was available.


  1. Wait, you're saying a motorcycle crash makes a person dumb? Lots of people have motorcycle crashes. Lot's of people have car crashes. Most of the time they're called accidents. Trying to use an accident as further evidence of your points on the sexual assault charges is just silly. The one is not connected with the others.

  2. No...getting into a motorcycle crash does not make a person dumb. However, Ben was operating this particular motorcycle without being licensed to do so. Dumb. He was also not wearing a helmet, breaking another state law. Dumb. Both points add merit to the argument that Ben has exhibited questionable judgment and has indeed acted stupidly.

  3. In Pa, we no longer have a helmet law. He wasn't breaking any laws by not wearing one. Also, you don't actually need a motorcycle endorsement on your DL here to legally ride. A learner's permit, which doesn't require a test and can be renewed at will, is sufficient.

  4. No Helmet Law in Pennsylvania?! WOW!! Too bad for dumbass Ben, he decided to go "Gary Busey" in Ohio. Last I checked, they have a Helmet Law. Ben Rothliberger is a mental midget.

  5. Pennsylvania's helmet requirements, at the time of the accident, are noted in this article:

    Also, Ben plead GUILTY and paid fines for both: not being licensed to operate the motorcycle and for not wearing a helmet:

  6. I had a motorcycle accident and I was wearing a helmet. I broke my leg. Neither situation has caused me to feel the need to assault women - at least not romantically.

  7. Again, I am not suggesting that motorcycle riders/crashers are rapists. I was pointing out that Big Ben has displayed poor judgment in the past. An athlete who feels that they are above the law is a liability. I won't be surprised if there are other stupid tales of Roethlisberger to come.

  8. Realizing this thread's a week old, but I'll say a couple things.

    1. Agree that Ben has used poor judgment, whether or not he did anything illegal. Frankly the Rooneys(not that there's nothing to criticize them about) have a right to expect better given his salary.

    2. PA's helmet laws, per PennDOT (PDF):

    "Pennsylvania Law requires that any person who operates or rides a motorcycle must wear
    protective headgear unless he or she is 21 years of age or older and has been licensed to
    operate a motorcycle for not less than two full calendar years OR has completed a
    motorcycle safety course approved by PennDOT or the Motorcycle Safety Foundation. All
    individuals operating a motorcycle on a learner’s permit must wear a helmet regardless of age."

    Ben was definitely in violation there as well.

  9. I completely agree with your insight on this subject!