Hello Dumb Dumb

Athletes, politicians and other celebrity types, including the super wealthy are subject to a level of scrutiny that most regular folks cannot fathom. Sex scandals, weight stories and meltdowns sell magazines. Shutterbugs live for the opportunity to catch the latest starlet sans makeup, in a bikini, snorting coke off so-and-so's husband's [fill in the blank]...mega bonus cash if one of them has maintained superstar status.

What was the biggest news story of last year? The sexcapades of Tiger Woods. The three-month-old story was so sensational that it is still worthy of headlines, late night joke fodder and was most likely the cause of the recent worldwide occurrences of earthquakes.

Personally, I don't care that Tiger Woods is a cheating turd biscuit, what I find interesting is: a) how long he hid his indiscretions from TMZ and b) that there weren't any allegations of sexual assault in the mix. He must be nice to his mistresses or something...

This brings me to the topic of Ben Roethlisberger. I have been publicly spanked in the past (mostly on Twitter) by a lawyer friend because of my opinions, which are largely based on the douche-factor, on the alleged criminal behavior of a certain gotcha...er...investigative journalist. Full disclosure: I'm judgmental.

Ben Roethlisberger has been accused, again, of sexual assault. I don't know if he's guilty or not...I wasn't there. But I do know this: Roethlisberger is an epic dumbass.

Exhibit A: The Motorcycle Crash
In June, 2006, Roethlisberger was seriously injured in a motorcycle accident. He was not wearing a helmet nor was he licensed to operate this particular class of racing-style motorcycle. Ben suffered multiple facial fractures including a broken jaw. His coach, Bill Cowher had discussed concerns with Ben about his hobby after the motorcycle accident that sidelined Cleveland Browns tight end, Kellen Winslow, Jr, the year before.

Exhibit B: The First Sexual Assault Accusation
In July, 2008, a Harrah's Casino employee claims that Ben Roethlisberger raped her after she was called to his room to fix his television. The alleged victim, Andrea McNulty strikes me as a whackjob...and I honestly didn't believe her story until...

Exhibit C: Hello Dumb Dumb
Last Friday, Ben and some friends were barhopping in Milledgeville, Georgia, where according to a 20-year-old college student, Ben sexually assaulted her in the bathroom of the Capital Club. According to one article:

...reports have called the woman "hysterical" as she described to police what happened, and the police also described her as someone who "did not look like" someone who would make up this kind of story.

Hmmm...

Verdict
Ben Roethlisberger is guilty of epic stupidity and bad judgment, at the very least. After the motorcycle accident, Roethlisberger returned to practice in August 06. He wore a neon green helmet cover which served as a big, bright stop sign to the defense, he was still on the mend from facial reconstruction surgery. After searching many, many photos of Big Ben I was able to find *one* of him wearing the green sheath:

This image reminded me of another:


I bet Big Ben The Pittsburgh Steelers organization wishes The Great Gazoo was available.

Things I Learned This Week

Here are a few things that tweaked my interest this week, some newsy...some not so much; some surprising, some not so much:

It is possible to host Thanksgiving without cooking ANYTHING. I did it, successfully, with the help of Mamma G, the honey baked ham store in Valley Junction and the liquor department at Costco.

Angelina Jolie "hates" Obama. Conservative men (and women): add brains to the long list of reasons that you lurve Angelina. Now you can say that the two of you actually have something in common.

Hot Swedish, model wives are just as crazy as regular ones. As much as I believe that public figures should be allowed a certain amount of privacy, it can be argued that once the cops are involved...you become fair game. But don't worry, Tiger...if this ends up being true, it won't be the weirdest super-sports-celebrity news of late...Agassi's admissions are going to be pretty tough to beat.

And...the one thing that should be getting a LOT more press time, that isn't...Human contribution to Climate Change is a bunch of bullshitery. Hey liberals: ya'll went crazy when no weapons of mass destruction turned up in Iraq, where's your outrage over this news...huh? Looks like you've been sitting next to that smelly guy on the bus for no good reason. An inconvenient truth, indeed.