I don't know if this is the best story ever, but it's the best one I've read in a while...you can read the entire incident here. The best part (besides his name, Marium Varinauskas):
"The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."
How big does your dong have to be to use it as a weapon???