Saturday, December 5, 2009

How to Avoid a Marriage Fail

A friend of mine proposed to his on-again girlfriend last night...she said: "yes." I said: "Congratulations, but don't get married."

The husband is pro-marriage, because I am awesome and being married to me is the greatest thing to *ever* happen to him. I am not pro-marriage...this feeling has nothing to do with my other half, he's great...most of the time. *wink*

If the love of your life suddenly morphs into some sort of she-wolf from hell over the wedding may want to rethink spending the rest of your life with her. However, if she remains relatively calm, suffering only minor, sporadic tantrums you're good to go...BUT...You should get married, if and only IF:
  • you love each other very much
  • you have discussed finances
  • you each have a job that sustains your current lifestyle
  • you know your lover's credit score
  • you've both been tested for STDs
  • you communicate very well with each other
  • you have had *successful* sex together (say that five times fast)
  • you have never cheated on him and he has never cheated on you (if you have to ask...yes, it counts)
  • the things that you agree to disagree on, you will continue to AGREE to disagree on
  • If one party is entering the marriage with more money, a prenup is signed
  • you have discussed children, whether to have them and how to raise them
  • he has NEVER hit you (not even once, when he was really drunk)
If these statements do not describe your relationship and you get married anyway: Your marriage will way or another. I promise. This list does not depict my friends' courtship...if they decide to follow through with their engagement, I'm buying them a collection of self-help books as a wedding present.


  1. I agree on some of it but it's all very individual. The happiest and best couple I know started out as a fling, then he cheated on her several times while dating. Now 2 kids later, they're just so awesome and comfortable and in love.

    And the money thing, pre-nups only cover pre-marriage money, it's so much more likely that the money that's made while in the marriage will end up being a bigger deal.

  2. Oh and I should add that the guy in the first couple worships the ground his wife walks on. I find those kinds of things always shift in relationships over time.