Why I Drink, Reason Number 543

This is not a tale of Murphy's Law...but it is a tale of teenage girls...

For those of you who do not know, I have been (accidentally) blessed with two offspring. The elder tadpole is a senior in high school...she is the star of this feature:

Setting: Monday (yesterday) afternoon, gym class...yes in Iowa you are required to take PE throughout high school. I assume this is an attempt to graduate a fit student class, it's not really working...but anyway...back to the story. . . After gym class, the daughter took her things out of her locker and placed them on the locker room bench. She left them briefly unattended to speak with a teacher...there was only one other student in her locker pod. The other student is a girl that she has known since elementary school and even attended my daughter's birthday party wayyy back in the fifth grade...ahhh memories...anyhow, my loverly pet returned to the locker room, after a few minutes, to retrieve her items and change out of her gym clothes. That's when she noticed that her phone was missing, along with $20. She announced loudly: "Someone took my phone!"

The thief...let's call her Whitney, well...because that's her name, grabbed her bag and hurriedly fled the locker room. Hmmm....not suspicious at all. She was the only person there, so she either (a) witnessed the crime or (b) she committed it, period. By not offering up any immediate witness information and instead fleeing, I'm going with option b.

The school has a full time police officer on duty, my daughter filed a report with him and informed him about Whitney's suspicious behavior...he interviewed her and called her mom. That's when, I'm pretty sure, the hot phone began its journey to the dump. Aren't girls fun???

Funny side note to the story, which made me literally laugh out loud when I heard it: in addition to the double sawback and the BlackBerry being taken...my daughter's jeans had been sabotaged...Whitney ripped the button off. I imagine the poor little genetically challenged phonejacker was upset that she couldn't fit into the pants, so she decided that if she couldn't wear them, nobody would. Again: Aren't girls FUN???

Sorry, I needed to vent....*deep breath*

Anyway...we pay the extra $4.99 per phone for Verizon's insurance (Asurion). I filed the claim online at www.phoneclaim.com where I also paid the $50 deductible. A new phone arrived today, less than 24 hours later. Her social life has been righted and I got the customer service equivalent to a happy ending.

Me, Myself and I

In July of 1975 a stork brought me to my thirtysomething parents. They had two other children...my brother was ten and my sister was eight. My mom swears that I wasn't an accident...my father wanted another boy. He got me instead, a girlie daughter. He didn't care...he took me (and my dolls) fishing on the Potomac River, shopping for tools at Sears and countless trips to Trak Auto and Pep Boys for automotive gear. I would bring my baby dolls and their strollers and happily push them around.

I don't know if my father made a conscious effort to make me a tomboy...but I do recall a few suspicious occasions...like when I was in kindergarten and I wanted to be Strawberry Shortcake for Halloween...Dad bought me a Sleestak costume instead and convinced me that being a fictional prehistoric lizard was cooler than a cartoon character that smelled of Kool-aid. I came home from school crying...the Halloween party at school was brutal. That night for Trick-or-Treat, I was Apricot (the store was all out of Strawberry Shortcakes, Apricot was a 'b' character from the show...but at least I didn't have to be The Purple Pieman).

After kindergarten, my parents worked A LOT. I was a latchkey kid from the first grade on...cue the violins. I entertained myself with dolls and Barbies until I took an interest in the opposite sex. And then (as my dad would say) I went 'boy crazy'. Oh well...I didn't turn out so bad and trust me...I tried my very best not to.

Pitchas of meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

Rebecca Lynn, 8 lbs 6 1/2 oz, July 1975

Somewhere on vacation, 1976

at my Aunt Elaine's house, 1978

at my Aunt Elaine's, 1978

Sears photo center 1978

under my cousin's high chair, 1979

Sears photo center, 1979

Crater of Diamonds State Park, Arkansas, 1980

first or second grade - bags under my eyes, teeth probably not brushed, hair definitely not brushed, ca. 1981

Fast forward seven years...I don't have any pictures of myself from the ages 6-13 years.

me (age 13) and my dad (and his awesome glasses)

me (age 14) and my dad at the Early Missionary Bark Chapel, Mackinac Island, MI (one of my fave places in the US)

me, age 15 (insert hair jokes here)

me (age 17) high school graduation pic

This is one of my fave photos. It's me (about three years ago) trying to dance the Two-Step with my husband's grandfather in Texas.