Monday, August 17, 2009

Don't Feed the Animals...(Me)

Okayyy, I've eaten my way out of my size 27 jeans (technically, some of them still fit, but I can hear their screams when I put them on). I'm not a size queen...y'know the type of girl that wears a smaller size, because she can physically get in them. Not I...I prefer to look as if the pants are not an optical illusion and well there's that whole 'toe' thing.

Like many women I have tried every diet out there and even made up one involving a shit load of sugar-free Jello and a slight addiction to Xanex (just kidding, Mom). This time I'm on my version of the low-carb diet: meat with veggies, Cool Whip Free and vodka club sodas with an occasional handful of nuts or a spoonful of extra chunk peanut butter.

It's been nine days, I haven't tried my jeans on yet...but...I did weigh myself. Early conclusion: Scales are evil and they lie. I've lost four lousy pounds, but I think my butt is smaller (or perhaps that's just the result of distorted vision from being hungeeee).

After avoiding my arch-nemesis aka the grocery store for nine days, I braved the journey today, because let's be honest the supermarket is no place for a person in my condition. I spent about an hour at the store (mostly reading nutritional labels). I made it outta there without sitting in the bakery department abusing an overly frosted cake. Success.


  1. You look really pissed off about it.

  2. "Scales are evil and they lie."

    Died laughing.

    Are you eating a good breakfast? j/w

  3. Breakfast...y'know, Bethany I argue with myself about this very topic daily. Nutritional experts say one thing, my girlie brain in diet mode says another. The debate continues...but yeah, I know what you're sayin'.

  4. I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


  5. Oh friend, I hate to say it ... but starving yourself, or eating an inadequate number of calories, is not the way to lose weight. Well, at least not the way to lose "the right kind" of weight. Fitness is a balance of nutrition and exercise. Simply, your body needs enough calories to sustain itself for normal daily activity, as well as any workout regiment included. To deprive yourself of these much needed calories means a loss of weight alright, water weight and/or muscle weight. The loss of muscle weight occurs because if your body needs more calories, then it will "consume" these calories whether they are provided through nutrient rich and protein filled foods or by consuming itself, e.g., available fat reserves, as well as your muscles. Your body WILL consume the necessary fuel - so, give it the right kind of fuel and be happy, healthy and hot. Otherwise, the inadequate calorie consumption will cause the loss of muscle weight, which comes hand-in-hand with decreased strength, lack of energy / exhaustion and a less flattering physique (b/c you don't have any muscle to help proportion your various parts, i.e., glutes, pecs, abs, etc.). I would think you should be consuming a minimum of 1500 well-managed calories/day, including fruits, vegetables, protein and even some carbs. I know it's a pain-in-the-ass to think about but "weight" isn't an accurate measure of health and/or fitness. Instead, it needs to be an appropriate measure of fat:muscle ratio. For example, by dehydrating yourself and using natural diuretics, you can easily lose 15 pounds in a period of three days; however, you also easily gain back what you lost within days. If weight were the only measure, then according to the BMI I'm obese. Darlin' you've known me a long time. Do you think I'm obese? 'nuff said. Miss you lots. Hope you and your family are well (which includes eating right). ;-) Cheers!

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