Down the Rabbit Hole with Twitter and Punctuation

Hey Kids,

It's been a while, I know...unless you follow me on Twitter, then it's been real. Remember when people used to say that? Yeah, I didn't think so. If you don't follow me on Twitter, why in the Hell not??? Also if you do, I likely owe you an apology...which I will be happy to give, for a donation to my shoe/drug/vodka fund, dollars make hollers.

Anyway, this post isn't about Twitter at all, even though it sort of started off that way. Did I mention that I love Twitter, because I do. Twitter [and vodka] is/are my life, which is sad slash awesome.

Speaking of [brackets], have you ever noticed that British authors use them in place of parenthesis (I think) -also they use a lot of dashes while punctuating, the long kind...which I don't know how to make with my keyboard, but I can draw one.

See:

My favorite punctuation mark is the ellipsis...not because I like to pause for emphasis, but because I frequently tend to ramble on [with run-on sentences] and nothing breaks up a sentence like dot-dot-dot.

Don't be fooled, this post isn't about Twitter or punctuation, it's about my live ustream show, Down the Rabbit Hole with Duchess Rebecca [<- that's me]. Tomorrow night I will be joined by Polk County (Iowa) GOP, Co-Chair, Dave Funk.

You see, until the "First in the Nation" Iowa caucuses in February, "Iowa" and "GOP presidential pool" are going to go together like country music and firearms, so you may as well get your information from someone who lives and drinks here. I promise not to bore the pants off of you and not just because you won't be wearing any.

If you have questions for Dave or me or my mom, ask'em:

twitter: @duchessrebecca

email: duchessrebecca@gmail.com

...or post them here in the comments and don't forget to tune in 12 am ET/9 pm PT!

Also, if you'd like to send me something...something good...my birthday *is* coming up (I wear a size 39/8.5 and I will fly coach):

Duchess Rebecca

PO Box 13332

Des Moines, IA 50310

Happy Twitaversary to Meeeee!!

One year ago today, I joined Twitter. My life hasn't been quite the same since...if you follow me, yours probably hasn't either.

The new friends I've made along with the influx of political and world news have made life without Twitter inconceivable. I hope to meet up with a mahvelous few one day soon, the crazies and weirdos not so much...

If you haven't joined Twitter...you really should, unless you're 'busy and important' like my husband who prefers to interact with people he actually knows irl. It's no wonder that I'm the fun one in this relationship.

Today is also KIM Jong Il's birthday. Happy Birthday, Crazypants:

Glenn Beck: Morale Buster

I wasn't going to blog this week, because I'm hosting Thanksgiving or something like that. Which means I'm very busy and stuff. In addition to readying my home for the comfort of family and friends, there's always time to tweet...today, while taking a break from playing Susie homemaker...I read this tweet from one Twitter friend to another, after clicking the link I watched this clip:



In the clip, Glenn Beck advises his nephew not to reenlist in the military. I don't have a problem with a caring uncle, offering sincere, candid advice to his nephew. What I do have a problem with, is Beck's use of his very popular television show to do so. I can only think of one reason why he would decide to speak to his nephew through the camera...Glenn Beck was advising ALL men and women serving their country: If you're thinking about reenlisting, DON'T...period. I mean, really...why else would Beck want to give intimate, life changing advice to his sister's son on television?

Glenn Beck is a fraud. The man preaches daily about the importance of being a patriot and then...this? I'm confused. What does something like this do for the morale of our troops? What good can come of it? I'm sure this is all very helpful to the boots on the ground and those that have lost a father, husband, brother, son, nephew, sister, wife, mother, daughter, niece or grandchild in Iraq or Afghanistan. On behalf of those: I would like to say: thank-you, Glenn Beck.

As I tweeted early today:

I liked him better when he was just kooky crazeeepants...The serious side of Beck is as appealing as the softer side of Sears

A Crazy Controversy

It's controversy time, ya'll...religion-style (sort of).

A couple of weeks ago, while watching Glenn Beck, I tweeted that if he was such a fan of the founding fathers, perhaps he should hold a seance to freshen up his message. A Twitter friend (one who actually follows me, and I follow back) informed me that Mormons are not permitted to hold seances. This was news to me, as I was unaware that Beck is a Mormon. I replied that Beck was more crazy than I thought. Learning (Wikipedia shoutout) that Beck is a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints reaffirmed my feelings. That's when I became aware of some background chatter regarding my tweets. I do not like to be misrepresented, who does? My final tweet on the subject (or so, I thought):

Yes, I think converting to a somewhat controversial religion in order to stop drinking/love your family makes you crazy, unstable and weak.

Maybe, Glenn Beck who is a recovering alcoholic, needed a restrictive religion to keep him on the wagon or maybe not. I suspect he does need it. I haven't read any of Beck's books. I watch his show a couple of times a week, sometimes more. I only know what he tells me about himself in his live broadcast. Based solely on this information, I believe Beck to be within the realm of crazy, unstable and weak.

Controversial Religion

The skinny on my relationship with the Mormons: My best friend, my sophomore year of high school was Mormon. That spring, I spent nearly every Saturday night at her house and therefore attended church with her on Sundays. When I showed no interest in converting, her church suggested that I stop coming, our friendship did not survive. And I will say, it did have a cultish feel to it (as the elders and mission dudes did not care what my parents thought). And...not to mention, the whole Baptizing the dead thing...yeesh...spooky. So much for my naive notion that her and I shared not only the same God, but Savior as well. Silly me.

Are Mormons Christians? Yes. The crazy kind. I can say this because I am a Baptist. I was raised just outside of Washington, DC, where I attended church regularly. I had no idea that my religion was weird/crazy until I moved to the Midwest. The first couple of churches my live-in fiance *gasp* and I attempted to go to were all about fire and brimstone, no dancing, drinking, smoking, cursing and o'course premarital sex, EEK...all very Footloose. Instead of converting or denouncing my faith, I turned to our President at the time...I now consider myself a Bill Clinton Baptist...usually, this needs no explanation.

I am a fan of freedom; freedom of speech and freedom of religion. You are free to practice your crazypants religion and I am free to call it crazy...and you don't have to kill anyone in the name of religion to be called a crazie!

Twitter's Response to Me

Some of you asked me about Twitter's response to my suspension, here it is:

ginger, Nov 02 10:43 am (PST):

Hello,

This is an email about the Twitter Support ticket you recently filed. Please be sure to read this, as you may need to take further action based on this ticket.

We mistakenly suspended a set of accounts in the evening of 10/31; accounts affected by this mistake were automatically un-suspended by 1:30PM PST on 11/1. Based on the time you filed your ticket, we think it's possible you were a part of this group.

Could you please log in to your account and see if you're currently un-suspended? If you are still suspended, you'll see a red notice announcing your suspension on your account. If we've already un-suspended your account, you don't need to do anything. We will close this ticket as solved.

If you're still suspended, please reply to this email letting us know. Responding to this email will reopen this ticket and put your ticket in queue for support, but you need to reply from the address this mail was sent to. If you use an alias (such as username+alias@gmail.com), ensure that your reply comes from the alias address or your ticket may not be seen by our support staff.

We're really sorry for the extra effort. We have a large amount of requests and really want everyone to receive help so they can continue to happily use Twitter! If this did not answer your inquiry, responding to this email will reopen this ticket.

Thanks,

Twitter Support

***

I am more than satisfied with their explanation. Twitter has a response team of, according to their site, seven people. Their prompt attention to my 'ticket' was impressive as my account was restored within about two hours of the error...which made me very, very happy!

I'm glad my suspension was an error and not the result of my account being hacked or 'blocked and flagged' by another user for abuse (aka spam...I am a lot of things, but a spammer, ain't one of'em). Anyway...everything is right in the Twitterverse and I can go back to saving the world...one tweet at a time.

BREAKING NEWS: Twitter Account Suspended | Updated

BREAKING NEWS: My Twitter account has been suspended. I honestly have no clue why. Sure...I'm not always PC, in fact, I suppose some would consider me to be downright offensive...and yes, I even use profanity. But none of those things are reasons for a suspended account...therefore, I am contesting the forced Twittercation.

If you follow me on Twitter, you know that I tweet a lot...this time-out is making me...let's just say...slightly unstable. I use the site, not just for socializing but also to stay informed on up to the minute, breaking news and commentary on sports, politics and other current events.

Right now, I'm hoping my Twitter account has been hacked...this happened to me once on eBay. The fake *me* listed penis pumps and Kama Sutra books for sale...mortifying...yes...but remedied, almost immediately. Twitter's remedy process is...slowwwwer.

I am uncertain why this happened to me...it has happened to others, including Karl Rove. Like Karl, I too will most likely experience Twitter withdrawals (in fact, they've already started). I miss you all and hope to be back soon.

xoxo
@duchess_rebecca

***
UPDATE I: While my Twitter account was suspended, my Broncos were handed their first loss/beatdown of the season...by the Baltimore Ravens.

***
UPDATE II: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!! Thanks, Twitter for reinstating me after only two hours. I didn't get an explanation as to why my account was suspended...but maybe that comes later.

Dear Facebookers: I Don't Like This

I wouldn't go as far as to say I hate Facebook...I mean, I appreciate it for what it offers: the opportunity to reconnect with and update friends and out of state relatives on what's going on in your life. As for the quizzes, (lil) Green Patch application, Farmville, Yoville and Mafia Wars...no thanks.

I usually only update my Facebook status to offer my friends my latest blog post, this is probably due to my relationship with Twitter. I tweet a lot. Facebook is a bit passive for my taste. I like the interaction that Twitter offers. Yes, Facebook has the chat option...and I do sign in to partake once in a while. But honestly...how often can you catch up with someone? And while there are some that I enjoy chatting with, there are others that I could have died without ever 'reconnecting' with.

My friend, Sam, linked this CNN article entitled: The 12 most annoying types of Facebookers, to my Facebook wall, after I posted this crotchety comment: "I hate it when I say something to someone and their response is: that should be your Facebook status. Also, I don't care how many miles you can run." Apparently, I am a self-promoting curmudgeon. Oh, well in accordance with my CNN Facebook title, allow me to add these five status updaters to the list (in no particular order):

1) Runners, Gymrats, etc. You know them, you're friends with them. Dear K'ers and Meatheads: If you can run ten miles, good for you...no one cares. If you really can bench *that much*...Giambi called, he needs his head back...also, you're a douche.

2) Love. Love. Love. You know who you are. 'Jenny has the greatest boyfriend in the whole world.' or 'Matt says thanks to Alice for making him the luckiest man on the planet.' or 'Judy is enjoying her fifth day as Mrs. Johnson. I love you, Paul.' Barf. Barf. Barf.

3) The Bar Photogs The chicks that are within an eye shot of you taking pics of each other...not because one of them is celebrating...just because they're out, they're drunk and they wanna document it for Facebook. You're sitting there at your local watering hole, enjoying a cocktail, chatting up a friend and there they are with their camera flashing every however-long-it-takes for one of them to veto the last pic because she looks drunk and or fat. Newsflash: you are drunk and or fat. Now put the camera away before I smash it.

4) Hybrid Tweeps Those that use Twitter and Facebook simultaneously. Your @ replies don't make any sense to your non-Twitter, Facebook friends...they don't know what a RT is and they probably don't care. Save your tweets for your tweeps...if you must include Facebookers...use the #fb hashtag, with care. Unless of course, you don't care...then carry on, crossbreed. (I still love you Sooper Trev).

5) Status Checkers You know who I'm referring to (maybe he's your husband): The ones that artfully design a thoughtful, witty, funny...basically *the* perfect Facebook status and then they proceed to check their wall every few minutes, or so, to see if anyone has commented or 'liked' their update. They may even go as far as to ask you: 'did you see my Facebook status?' Hugs, loser.

Happy updating! Feel free to use the comments section to supplement my list with your own Facebook grumbles. If you want to leave a nasty, troll-y comment, you can do that too.

The Chronicles of Kennedy: The Lion, the Ditch and the Chivas Regal

In case you missed it, The Liberal Lion of the Senate, Senator Edward 'Ted' Kennedy died of cancer, he was 77 years of age. Sen. Kennedy played hardball, but I suppose that's normal when you're the youngest to a boot-legging Irishman, add a couple of bright, competitive older brothers and you get a perfect storm of sorts for someone like Teddy.

Kennedy was spirited and driven. While, I may question his motives and sincerity to the causes he seemed to hold so dear (except abortion, I believe he was really, really in favor of that one) I cannot question his determined and willful demeanor.

Kennedy will be remembered by all. Some will remember the 300 Bills he lent his name to that were enacted into law, others have personal stories of his kindness, some may think of his infectious laugh. But, for others, like me...Kennedy was a spoiled, all-in politician. He loved women, scotch, and Chris Dodd. Oh and also, he was responsible for Mary Jo Kopechne's death at Lake Chappaquiddick.

Apparently it is frowned upon to speak (or tweet) unfavorably about the recently deceased, factual or otherwise (unless you are the Daily Kos). Air America decided to post a few distasteful tweets from conservatives on Twitter regarding the passing of Uncle Teddy, they included one from little ole me. My father would be so proud.