Libya's Diddy Rapes Billy Joel

Qaddafi aka Gaddafi aka Kaddafy aka al-QADHAFI

(aka Libya's Diddy)
To the tune of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire"

United Nations, Swine Flu, Ronald Reagan, Evil Jews
Adolf Hitler, MLK, Son of Africa

Saddam Hussein, India, Monkey Wrench, Foot rub
I heart Mecca, Legal pad, Homophobia

Terrorism, Afghans, I love the Taliban
Civil wars are the best, mind your own business!

Chester Cheetah, Big Bird, Conspiracy is the word
Mandingo, Apple Jacks, MTV, Mars Attacks

I love Obama
He blows my mind
It happens all the time.
I love Obama
He is not my son
But, that would be fun.

Jimmy Carter, Pakistan, Pirates aren't Somalian
New York, Big Tent, Long Live Barack!

Rolling Thunder, Sandstorm, This outfit is an art form
Co-pilot, Central Park, Night light in the dark

Led Zeppelin, Kashmir, A&W Root Beer
Clean water, Darfur, I am rich, they are poor.

Jelly Beans, Baseball, Tiffany, Daryl Hall
Capri Sun, Pop Tarts, Where the hell is Walmart?

I love Obama
He blows my mind
It happens all the time.
I love Obama
He is not my son
But, that would be fun.

Pet Rock, Kanye West, I don't have hair on my chest
Chinese food, lunch time, fortune cookie on my mind

Colonel Sanders, KFC, Ich bin ein Iraqi
HIV, Huck Finn, I have hair on my chin

Facebook, MySpace, Kelly Clarkson, Neck Brace
Ramadan, Sharia Law, Medicine: free for all

Kennedy Assassination, I demand an investigation
Jack Ruby devil Jew, What else can I tell you?

I love Obama
He blows my mind
It happens all the time.
I love Obama
He is not my son
But, that would be fun.

Buster Brown, Hogwash, Aqua Fresh, Yellow Squash
Will Ferrell, Matt Damon, Fandango

Bird Flu, Death Star, He-Man, Battle Scar
Dick Cheney, Darth Vader, I need a new Translator

UN Equality, Fifteen minutes not enough for me,
Where was I, What's today? I have so much more I want to say!!!

I love Obama
He blows my mind
It happens all the time.
I love Obama
He is not my son
But, that would be fun.

Tina Fey, Michael Bay, Matthew McConaughey
Octomom, Car bomb, Lip balm, Vietnam
Jacko, Plaxico, Costco, Anna Nicole
Eastern Europe unprotected, Ahmadinejad reelected

Millionaire, Game show, Lottery ticket, Big toe
Megan Fox, Johnny Depp, Tim Burton, Two Step
Racism at your door, Jet lag makes you snore
Peanut Butter and Foreign wars, I can't take it anymore!!!

I love Obama
He blows my mind
It happens all the time.
I love Obama
He is not my son
But, that would be fun.

Dear Facebookers: I Don't Like This

I wouldn't go as far as to say I hate Facebook...I mean, I appreciate it for what it offers: the opportunity to reconnect with and update friends and out of state relatives on what's going on in your life. As for the quizzes, (lil) Green Patch application, Farmville, Yoville and Mafia Wars...no thanks.

I usually only update my Facebook status to offer my friends my latest blog post, this is probably due to my relationship with Twitter. I tweet a lot. Facebook is a bit passive for my taste. I like the interaction that Twitter offers. Yes, Facebook has the chat option...and I do sign in to partake once in a while. But honestly...how often can you catch up with someone? And while there are some that I enjoy chatting with, there are others that I could have died without ever 'reconnecting' with.

My friend, Sam, linked this CNN article entitled: The 12 most annoying types of Facebookers, to my Facebook wall, after I posted this crotchety comment: "I hate it when I say something to someone and their response is: that should be your Facebook status. Also, I don't care how many miles you can run." Apparently, I am a self-promoting curmudgeon. Oh, well in accordance with my CNN Facebook title, allow me to add these five status updaters to the list (in no particular order):

1) Runners, Gymrats, etc. You know them, you're friends with them. Dear K'ers and Meatheads: If you can run ten miles, good for you...no one cares. If you really can bench *that much*...Giambi called, he needs his head back...also, you're a douche.

2) Love. Love. Love. You know who you are. 'Jenny has the greatest boyfriend in the whole world.' or 'Matt says thanks to Alice for making him the luckiest man on the planet.' or 'Judy is enjoying her fifth day as Mrs. Johnson. I love you, Paul.' Barf. Barf. Barf.

3) The Bar Photogs The chicks that are within an eye shot of you taking pics of each other...not because one of them is celebrating...just because they're out, they're drunk and they wanna document it for Facebook. You're sitting there at your local watering hole, enjoying a cocktail, chatting up a friend and there they are with their camera flashing every however-long-it-takes for one of them to veto the last pic because she looks drunk and or fat. Newsflash: you are drunk and or fat. Now put the camera away before I smash it.

4) Hybrid Tweeps Those that use Twitter and Facebook simultaneously. Your @ replies don't make any sense to your non-Twitter, Facebook friends...they don't know what a RT is and they probably don't care. Save your tweets for your tweeps...if you must include Facebookers...use the #fb hashtag, with care. Unless of course, you don't care...then carry on, crossbreed. (I still love you Sooper Trev).

5) Status Checkers You know who I'm referring to (maybe he's your husband): The ones that artfully design a thoughtful, witty, funny...basically *the* perfect Facebook status and then they proceed to check their wall every few minutes, or so, to see if anyone has commented or 'liked' their update. They may even go as far as to ask you: 'did you see my Facebook status?' Hugs, loser.

Happy updating! Feel free to use the comments section to supplement my list with your own Facebook grumbles. If you want to leave a nasty, troll-y comment, you can do that too.

Know Your Limits & Don't Try this at Home

Nothing says marital bliss like buying a new piece of furniture. Two weeks ago, the husband and I chose a new chair and ottoman for our bedroom. Today we brought it home...and let me just say: nothing says 'I hate you' like trying to carry new chair upstairs by ourselves. Apparently my husband is an expert furniture mover, which really doesn't surprise me since he is an expert on everything else.

For now the chair is sitting downstairs in the living room (on its side)...I am hopeful that it will be up in our bedroom soon, placed there carefully by more qualified individuals (that aren't married to one another).

Note to husband: I never claimed to be a furniture mover with super human strength. I deeply regret, whatever I did to give you that impression.

Here's the ottoman which we were able to manage (barely) without incident:

Boycott School??? Really?

As many of you have heard by now, President Obama is planning to give a back to school address to students nationwide on September 8, 2009. Some on the right think this is let's just say...not a good thing. I am indifferent to the idea. I respect the man, I don't agree with him on much of anything, but I have a kooky feeling that Obama is going to take this opportunity to discuss the importance of education goals, civic duty and *gasp* personal responsibility...which call me crazy...are not horrible things to talk about to kids. Of course, it can be argued that it is a parent's job...blah, blah, blah. Newsflash: some kids have crap parents.

The speech was originally outlined in a way that suggested the president was asking for children to offer their advice to him, that language has been removed....the updated outline can be seen here.

Some conservative parents are keeping their cherubs home from school on September 8th. I'm not sure why. Kids are already liberalized in the public school system. They seem to learn more about energy saving tips than they do on the subject of grammar and well, there's all that talk about penises and vaginas in kindergartens across America that gets cons all kinds of worked up.

Teaching your child to avoid listening to those you disagree with is kind of silly and can backfire. Fear not, I once heard Jesse Jackson speak at my school...my heart didn't all of the sudden start bleeding...quite the opposite, in fact...I went home and thanked my dad.