Happy [Expletive] Valentine's Day

I hate Valentine's Day but, as a fan of capitalism, I appreciate it for what it is...an economy stimulant. Flowers, cards, candy, lingerie, cutesy stuffed critters and jewelry sales are all optimized during the week of February 14th. Personally I like to spend the day self-medicated watching zombie movies, ideally smoking two at a time...however, a new pair of Louboutins have the potential to make me feel slightly more romantical...Honey, if you're paying attention, I'm a size 39.

Are you strapped for cash or unsure about what to send your crush? No worries, the RNC has you covered, check out their V-Day ecards here. Happy [Expletive] Valentine's Day??? I think I'm in love.

Anyhoohah, here are my tools for a happy VD:

Tissues

I have a cold.

Smokey Treats

Vicodin
nom, nom, nom

Grey Goose, duh

A variety of zombie flicks including, one of my favorites: Shaun of the Dead

my cozy friend

Fergie, o'course

oh yeah...and these are the shoes I want...Psst, Honey? Hey, where'd you go???