Summer is...bacon wrapped, fried gold

Long Time, No Blog

Sorry...I've thought of you often...wanting to share my birthday, 4th of July (and beyond) adventures with you. It's just that well...I am actually pretty lazy and often uninspired and therefore unmotivated...well not necessarily in the conventional sense. I mean...o'course me and my life are spectacular and you certainly should be interested in what I'm doing, what I think about...everything and well...to be perfectly honest...me in general. But I do occasionally feel pressure to make sure that my thoughts are complete with (non-fuzzy) details and if applicable...photos...and so, without further ado...

Birthday Eve

My favorite day of the year is...the day before my birthday. Probably because I'm a spoiled rotten child on the inside and I love to shout...'tomorrow's my birthday!!!' It's not about the presents...I mean...don't be silly...I love a good birthday present...but...it does not have to be your birthday to get a present.

This year my birthday fell on a Thursday...which meant either an Okoboji birthday or a hungover car ride to Okoboji in Friday before the 4th of July traffic. I opted for a Boji birthday...even though that also meant that I didn't get to celebrate with all of the usual suspects. *sad face* You know who you are, you were missed.

the husband bought me this 'new' table for my birthday...the wood is over 100 years old...it is exactly what I wanted

a crop duster in the sky (trust me)

a field of soybeans

sleeping Fergie (and the directions to the lake)

more soybeans

a hog farm

more farm scenery

Never a Dull Moment

The husband had some work to finish before we left...we began our 200 mile journey to Lake Okoboji at around 5 pm on Wednesday the 1st. The route we take is not conducive to bathroom stops...unless you can pee in a ditch or a cornfield. We were about 45 minutes away from the lake when my hubby *needed* 'to stop'. We took a ten minute (one way) detour to Albert City, IA for a toilet. We stopped at the Cenex gas station/convenience store in Albert City where they have one unisex bathroom. We got out of the car...Fergie (my beloved Chihuahua) stayed in the car...the following convo took place as we were walking into the store:

me: 'did you lock the car'
the husband: 'no, I left the keys inside...it's Albert City, IA, Fergie will be fine'
me: 'if anyone steals my dog, I am divorcing you'
the husband: 'I can live with that'

We made our way into the store...he went to the bathroom...I perused the snacks. I realized the husband was gonna be a while as I decided on a push-pop. I hadn't brought my purse in to the store so I went out to the car to get some money for my chosen frozen treat. There was Fergie standing up at the window, looking adorable, scratching at the window...that's when I saw that the doors were locked...Fergie hit the power lock button with his tiny paw...ARGHHHHHHH!!! Keys: locked in the car, purse: locked in the car, husband's phone: locked in the car, my phone: locked in the car, my precious baby Chihuahua: locked in the car. I was immediately hysterical as I tried to get Fergie to unlock the doors. A few moments later, the husband comes outside to a very frazzled (bordering on straight-jacket worthy) Rebecca. He being the calmer one...went inside to call for help. The dispatch said the local sheriff 'for an emergency' would be there in about 20 minutes. My husband could tell by the dispatcher's tone that a Chihuahua locked inside of a car was not an emergency, according to the Storm Lake Sheriff (even though it was about 80 degrees out). Meanwhile, I was still trying to instruct Fergie on how to unlock the doors...his little nose making fog on the window and then scratching it away with his little nails...I was now officially an emotional wreck.

The husband was trying to get the Cenex clerk to give him a coat hanger off of some dry-cleaning that hadn't been picked up yet. Apparently in Albert City, you drop your dry-cleaning off at the gas station. Anyway...the lady was reluctant. Which turned out to be a good thing...because she gave him a fly swatter instead...you know the old kind with the metal looped end. The husband had the locks popped 30 seconds later...Fergie and I were reunited and I didn't have to get divorced. Side note: Volvos are very easy to break into.

Fergie after the incident (looking a bit stressed)

Myyyyy Birthday

I started the day with a Bloody Mary with a side of bacon. The weather was perfect out on the lake. We had a low maintenance, no fuss, drama free celebration.We boated all day and bar hopped all night...Thank YOU to everyone for all of the birthday well wishes. You guys made my day even bettah *smoooooch*

toasted after boating all day with Grey Goose

a wild turkey taking a stroll at the lake

4th of July Fireworks, Okoboji style @ Maxwells

July 7th full moon...Oooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Minneapolis

My consort travels, for work, up to Minneapolis at least twice a month. Personally, I'm a big fan of having the whole bed to myself for a few nights a month...albeit, I do miss using his razor when he's gone (shhhh, don't tell him). Once in a while I will make the trip up there with him, usually for a specific occasion or event...but this time I went along...just because.

The Lions Club International was in town for their annual convention and the Yankees were playing the Twins...the only hotel available was the 601 Graves...which doesn't suck. I booked the room online and we were on our way. The Graves is located directly across the street from the Target Center. Upon arrival, it was evident that not only was there a concert that night, but it was one that I didn't want to be within a two block radius of...let alone right across the street from it. It turned out to be...the Jonas Brothers. *barf*

As we were checking in, I noticed that the front desk associate was having trouble finding our reservation. He was quietly speaking to another person behind the desk, who seemed to have more authority than he did. It turns out...the Graves was overbooked. I became nervous, imagining myself staying at a Super 8 in mega-mall hell, Bloomington. The clerk explained that they were totally booked, accept for the penthouse level. I thought...Super 8, here I come...and then, I heard angels as she smiled and said it was a hotel error, so we would not be charged for the upgrade. I peed my pants (just a little) and almost forgot the Jonas Brothers were across the street.

It was about 10 pm...I was hungry...after a quick freshen up we headed to the 112 Eatery which serves food until midnight. We walked the three and a half blocks through the Jonas faithful (mostly tweens and their psychotic parents) as they lined First Avenue hoping to get a glimpse of the virginal trio. The 112 Eatery is one of those trendy places with a slightly obscure menu...I had a bacon and egg sandwich with something called harissa (a spicy condiment) on it...it was de.li.cious...the fries were pretty terrific too.

The next day I hung out in the room, took a bath in the jacuzzi tub (while watching TV on the bathroom wall flat screen), drank a $10 beer from the mini-bar. The husband was due back around 6ish. I headed to the hotel bar around 5:30 where I drank Grey Goose and tweeted while I waited for him. After a couple of bar drinks we headed for Zelo for dinner...we shared a pizza....it was very good. The bartender informed us that a few of the Yankees were supposed to come in...I was ready to express my hatred in a nice enough way to still get a picture...alas, they never showed up. After dinner we headed to Barrio Tequila Bar for a nightcap...which for me was the old standby Goose and soda...I dunno what the husband had...but I'm sure there was tequila in it.

a peek at the new Twins Stadium and the top of the Target Center (where apparently they grow sod???)

the most comfortable bed in the history of hotels

The Basilica was having a block party...Rock out with your...Bible out

a watchtower on the way to uptown for lunch

my lunch at Figlio's...a delightful BLT

back on the road heading to Okoboji on a beautiful day

Minnesota corn

me in the car, on the wayyy to the lake

The People of Iowa Welcome You...Fields of Opportunities

a windfarm

another windfarm

this is the only 'lake pic' I took (just before we left)
so...imagine these:
1. me moaning while eating warm, cheesy crab dip at Yesterday's
2. a fat, bald guy singing Sweet Caroline at Cocktail's
3. an old, drunk dude half asleep, nodding off to the beat of some crappy Billy Joel song
4. me rolling my eyes as I wonder why karaoke exists
5. me wishing I had a gong
6. a competitive game of midnight Pictionary after drinking all day

the corn is getting tall

a big ole farm thingie

a rainbow halfway home

Okoboji Road Trip

Lake Okoboji is located in Northwest Iowa. It is the second largest fresh water lake in the state; albeit it is the deepest. Its depth gives it a blue appearance, it is only one of three ‘blue lakes’ in the world (Lake Louise in Canada and Lake Geneva in Switzerland are the others).

Lake Okoboji is where the ‘haves’ from Des Moines, Waterloo, Sioux City, Sioux Falls and Omaha come to play in the summertime. In the winter months the town goes back to normal, the seasonal shops and restaurants close down. The lake eventually freezes over and the ice fisherman and snowmobile crowd take over.

Okoboji is about 200 miles from Des Moines. The quickest route (taking almost all, paved, county roads) takes about 3 hours and 15 minutes. The scenery is farm structures, livestock, corn fields, soy beans and wind farms. It’s very boring and if you have to pee you better be willing to go in a ditch.

Fergie's ready to goooo

Look treeees!


a stinky hog lot

(still) a proud supporter of Bush

cows

more cows

a wind farm

rolling hills (Iowa style)

corn or soybeans? (can't tell yet)

another farm

a bar close to the lake (no, we didn't stop)

Hunting and Gathering

Upon arrival, it’s grocery shopping time. You may shop at the tiny yet local and friendly Buy Rite, Hy-vee a larger yet still local option or you can one stop shop at the evil empire also known as Wal-Mart. Dickinson County has just over 16,700 people and yes they have a Wal-Mart *sadface*.

Okoboji Dining and Nightlife

There are a few decent restaurants around the lake. Kazerelli’s, Geppetto’s on the Lake, Yesterday’s and Maxwell’s Beach Cafe are staples for finer dining and better wines. For more casual food and drink there are several options. Lunches at The Ritz, The Wharf, Smokin’ Jakes and The Taco House are all yummeee. The Barefoot Bar is my fave place to sit by the lake, enjoy live music and drinks – they also offer a menu full of bar favorites. If you go by boat on busy, weather cooperative weekends, finding a place to dock can be difficult.

Whoo Hoo Three Day Weekend

This past weekend the weather was supposed to be windy, rainy and cooler. Not a good combo for a short lake vacay. But we decided to take a chance and go. Okoboji is definitely a Grunewald thing. I can be a hater about going. But I have learned to appreciate its good and try to forgive the ick-factors.

Friday night we arrived at the lake at about 7 pm, ate dinner around 8 pm at Yesterday’s. I had the tilapia which was very good…but the best thing there is the crab dip appetizer. After dinner we went to a bar called Cocktail’s. Cocktail’s is thought to be a gay bar, but in Okoboji there aren’t enough people for any bar to be anything other than a ‘white person’ bar. The male bartender/owner was wearing a Cocktail’s Crayfish Boil t-shirt that read ‘Suck Head, Eat Tail’, so mebbe he has something to do with the gay thing. It was karaoke night. I loathe karaoke but I was going with the flow (which is rare) and the bathrooms at Cocktail’s are clean so that’s something. We kept my in-laws out until about 1:30…a victory indeed.

Saturday I slept until about 11 am, it was an overcast and windy day, so no boating. We had a lazy day, watching movies. Saturday night we went out to dinner and called it an early night (meaning we came home to drink).

Sunday I slept past noon. It was really nice out – we hurried down to the boat for a leisurely ride before we were expected at a birthday party on a fish boat barge thingy. The fish boat barge thingy is a huge wooden structure that serves as a bar and usually stays docked. In fact I didn’t even know you could ‘take it out on the lake’. But I guess you can, because we did. It was okay fun…there were kids on the boat with us. I don’t like mixing kiddies and alcohol, but I didn’t plan this party…soooo nevermind. We cruised around for about three hours (insert Gilligan joke here), and were back docked sometime around 8 pm. We took our boat back to our condo, changed out of our swimsuits and headed to Buck’s.

Buck’s

Okayyy I’m not sure if this bar is actually called Buck’s or not…but that’s what everyone else calls it, so I do to. It’s not located on the lake so it has a, let’s just say ‘different’ clientele. The birthday girl wanted to go there because she lovesss karaoke…and Buck’s had it. Buck’s is a cash only bar and don’t you dare ask to ‘start a tab’. I think it’s supposed to be a biker bar. We know the owner; a badass biker dude that wears Hawaiian shirts. He’s ruggedly handsome…and scary. Karaoke is run by…ummm I don’t want to be cruel and name names…let’s just say his name rhymes with rinse and he could use one. Rinse is older (fifties but he could easily pass for the Crypt Keeper), he lives with his mom (I know this because I’ve met her, at the bar). Having never met his dad, I’m going to guess he’s a farm animal – probably a donkey or a horse based on Rinse’s facial situation. But he is very nice and he is a pretty good singer.

There’s almost always a fight at Buck's, and someone will be asked to leave (thrown out). There’s always one drunk guy who is the cliché drunk in the bar. They have free peanuts (you may throw the shells on the ground) and you can buy Slim Jims, Doritos, Corn Nuts and a variety of candy bars for drunken consumption. There’s a pool table (duh) and darts (I think). I got hit on by some guy that worked for one of the boat dealers…he was very persistent (and quite annoying). There was another guy there who was so drunk he peed his pants, but he didn’t leave…he sang karaoke and tried to pick a couple of fights – a true alpha male! There was a bigger girl with her ass crack hanging out…I took a picture (see below), her husband-type yelled at me. I heard Neil Diamond’s Sweet Caroline, Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing and a whole bunch of country that I didn’t know. The drunk that peed himself tried to sing Metallica’s Enter Sandman…another alpha sign. I laughed a lot…which is always a good thing.

Monday I slept in…when I awoke, my heart was pounding out of my chest. I asked my mother-in-law for her blood pressure machine, my BP was okay, but my pulse was 124 and irregular. I asked my hubby for breakfast and after a couple of Gatorades I was good to go *sorry liver* *sorry heart*.

We left Okoboji after 5 pm for Des Moines…The Principal Charity Classic started today the weekend is looking F-U-N, but then again when doesn’t it?

someone taking our pic while we were on the fish boat barge thingy

a butt crack at Buck's

goodnight kiss