Dear Truuuuue Conservatives and (Fellow) Establishment RINOS:

Dear Truuuuue Conservatives and (Fellow) Establishment RINOS:

I'm taking time out of my busy cocktail guzzling schedule to share with you some thoughts about our presidential primary season and how it's shaping up. In short, I'm nervous. . .

Firstly, if I haven't been clear, I am in the "anybody who can defeat Obama camp" (I know, I know...RACIST!). Sigh, moving right along...my main concern is, as Charles Krauthammer puts it, the authenticity vs electibilty issue.

I fear we are at risk of repeating the same mistake the democrats made in 2004. Our adversaries were in a position to win the 2004 general election. Operation Iraqi Freedom (Bush's War) was highly controversial for different reasons. Some believed the operation took resources from Operation Enduring Freedom in Afghanistan (the good war). Saddam Hussein wasn't a threat to us and even though at some point in time he was in possession of, at the very least, chemical weapons (weapons of mass destruction) they were nowhere to be found in 2003. Some were angry with Bush giving the federal government the Go-Go-Gadget Collection with The Patriot Act. Others were angry about the spending increases, fighting two wars is expensive. And how can we forget The Economic Growth and Tax Relief Reconciliation Act of 2001 and The Jobs and Growth Tax Reconciliation Act of 2003 (the Bush Tax Cuts)?

Sounds like a landslide waiting to happen, right? Wrong. Kerry lost by over 3.5 million votes, he fared better in the electoral college, 286 to 251. All candidates are not created equal, electability matters.

The current GOP pool plus the truuuuue conservative vs the establishment RINOS infighting could put us in the same position the democrats were in, eight years ago. I find a lot of my fellow republicans writing on social media sites and blogs that we could defeat President Obama with any one of the candidates currently running (or Sarah Palin) even if national polls suggest otherwise; this concerns me. I do believe that Obama is beatable, just as I think Bush was in 2004, as long as we choose a winner. But please, while doing so, keep these things in mind:

• Each of the current candidates is on record as saying they will repeal ObamaCare and appoint conservative judges to the Supreme Court.
• While I agree that entitlement reform must happen, it is a huge manmade problem facilitated by us, the voters. We have allowed the government to grow with each administration, we have to have realistic expectations about what can be done and we can't win the general without Independents.
• Illegal immigration reform has been campaigned on for decades resulting in nothing but talk. If you are born here, you are an American, period. Educating American children is not just the only choice, it is the smart choice. Investing in young Americans (I don't care where their parents were born) through education is a no-brainer. I don't know why Perry had a hard time articulating this on Thursday but "children of illegals" and "illegals" are not the same thing. How to do so, is a fair question but asking "should we" is not.
• And as far as getting sucked into abortion, gay marriage and capital punishment debates:

We can win, as long as we don't get Kerry'd away.

P.S. If after reading this post you want to comment on the legality of war, I wasn't addressing you but I'm sure your mom would like to discuss the War Powers Act and the current administration's actions in Libya.

Down the Rabbit Hole with Duchess Rebecca

Hey kids, here's the latest webisode of Down the Rabbit Hole with Duchess Rebecca. Alex Jones and I discussed Afghanistan living, Bachmann's problem with Gardasil, Sarah Palin's juicy (possibly made up) past, why Bud Selig is an unpatriotic turd, Michelle Obama's latest food casualty plus a phone-a-friend bonus, Adam Dawson, who moonlights as the drummer for Virginia Coalition, calls in to share the best story you will ever hear involving anyone from Journey or what I am calling "speaking in tongues with Neal Schon". As usual, NSFW:

Live broadcast by Ustream

cross-posted at Right Wing News

Down the Rabbit Hole with Duchess Rebecca

Hey kids, here's the latest webisode of Down the Rabbit Hole with Duchess Rebecca; me and Leah Trost (...or is it Leah Trost and I??? Ugh, grammar is hard) discuss the key to ageing successfully, the blogger who cried "rape", Celine Dion's bathtub, bear punching, grandma tattoos, great-grandma boob jobs and more. I probably said something offensive, proceed at your own risk:

Video streaming by Ustream

cross-posted at Right Wing News

Patriot Day Football

Happy Saturday kids! It's the first *official* day of college football. Yeah, there were a few games earlier this week, like last night's big win for Baylor over TCU (congrats, Ryan!) but today is all about [insert your favorite team here]. I live in Iowa, yeehaw...not really, anyway...here the Iowa Hawkeyes are the local equivalent to having a professional football team. And though, many Iowa fans have never graced the halls of the Old Capitol Building in Iowa City, they were there in spirits, wink, wink.

I grew up in Alexandria, Virginia in a non-fanatical college football home. My dad passively rooted for all of the local teams, saving himself for the Redskins on Sundays. Note: none of his children are fans of the Skins and both of his daughters married Cowboys loyalists.

I love football, any day of the week. In fact, I can be seen sitting outside of Stilwell Jr. High School at least three times a week watching 12 year old boys at pigskin practice...which sounds super creepy but one of them belongs to me so I'm told it's okay as long as I'm not drunk. So I don't drink until after.

The NFL starts its season this Thursday night. NBC will air the Saints versus the Super Bowl Champion Packers at Lambeau Field sometime after our dear leader gives his latest jobs speech. If we were Smurfs our president would be called Speechy. Wow, that was super lame...a "Smurfs" reference...and then I used "lame". I shouldn't go on, but I do have a point. Even though, I said (on my show, which you should watch) I wouldn't do this (write something about 9/11), I'm doing it. Shut up, I'm a woman, I'm s'posed to change my mind.

Next Sunday in addition to being the first NFL Sunday Funday this fall, is the tenth anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks which killed 2,977 people. We won't ever forget where we were, who we were with and how we felt that day and the days following. Listening to reports trickle out about the details of the horror on board those aircrafts, hearing family members tearfully share their accounts of phone conversations with loved ones abroad American Airlines Flight 77 and United Airlines Flight 93; learning about the heroics and selflessness on board Flight 93 giving all patriot's a heavy heart. The battlefield was forever changed as were its warriors.

Ten years later we are still at war in Afghanistan. Many KIA were children on September, 11, 2001. Our hearts remain heavy over the Marines, Soldiers, Airmen and Sailors who have paid the ultimate sacrifice in the name of freedom. We are a grateful nation.

On Sunday, September 11th, I will be watching football. The flyovers and songs sung before the games will be even more hair-raising and tear-jerking than they are on other Sundays because on this Sunday while we remember the victims of 9/11 and our troops we will also remember what we are capable of as one nation under God indivisible with liberty and justice for all.

Go Broncos!

Down the Rabbit Hole with Duchess Rebecca

Hey kids, here's the latest webisode of Down the Rabbit Hole with Duchess Rebecca. My guest, anonymous blogger "Eva McCane" of icouldntmakethisshitup.wordpress.com and I discuss Chaz Bono, legal protection for ugly people, Michele Bachmann's hair, German hookers and much more! Viewers be warned, naughty language and sex talk ahead:


Video streaming by Ustream

cross-posted at Right Wing News

A light bulb ban? Get Off My Jock!

By now you've likely heard that on January 1, 2012 the federal government's ban on incandescent light bulbs goes into effect. You will then be forced to use the toxic, mercury filled compact fluorescent variety instead.

The new bulbs cost more money, between five and ten times the older, safer yet energy wasting kind. But, don't fret because the new baneful, big ticket, beacons will save you around $50 a year...allegedly...according to the Department of Energy and Sesame Street's The Count (probably).

The new, energy saving bulbs are supposed to last about 10,000 hours (wow, that's a lot). No word on whether those 10,000 hours are calculated on God's time or a scientist's - usually the distinction is quite significant.

When the bulb burns out, whether it's because the science was flawed or it's actually burned it's 10,000 (!!!) hours, due to it's toxicity, you may not toss it in the garbage. You must find your local special waste dropoff site - which means that you'll likely be paying more for trash removal service, however your city likes to stick it to you.

Oh, and according to the New York Post, at New York's special waste dropoff sites, when dumping your toxic compact fluorescent duds you should also bring along your driver's licence so that a sanitation department worker can document your name, address and vehicle registration number while taking note of your harmful waste - think about that five times fast.

Remember the old thermometers? Y'know the glass ones with the mercury inside? Did you ever break one? Did your parents freak out? Well I did and mine did, turns out they were right to. If you break one of these mercury filled, super bulbs, the EPA recommends the following:

Before Cleanup

1. Have people and pets leave the room, and avoid the breakage area on the way out.

2. Open a window or door to the outdoors and leave the room for 5-10 minutes.

3. Shut off the central forced-air heating/air conditioning (H&AC) system, if you have one.

4. Collect materials you will need to clean up the broken bulb:
   • Stiff paper or cardboard
   • Sticky tape (e.g., duct tape)
   • Damp paper towels or disposable wet wipes (for hard surfaces)
   • Glass jar with a metal lid (such as a canning jar) or a sealable plastic bag(s)

Cleanup Steps for Hard Surfaces

1. Carefully scoop up glass fragments and powder using stiff paper or cardboard and place debris and paper/cardboard in a glass jar with a metal lid. If a glass jar is not available, use a sealable plastic bag. (NOTE: Since a plastic bag will not prevent the mercury vapor from escaping, remove the plastic bag(s) from the home after cleanup.)

2. Use sticky tape, such as duct tape, to pick up any remaining small glass fragments and powder. Place the used tape in the glass jar or plastic bag.

3. Wipe the area clean with damp paper towels or disposable wet wipes. Place the towels in the glass jar or plastic bag.

4. Vacuuming of hard surfaces during cleanup is not recommended unless broken glass remains after all other cleanup steps have been taken. [NOTE: It is possible that vacuuming could spread mercury-containing powder or mercury vapor, although available information on this problem is limited.] If vacuuming is needed to ensure removal of all broken glass, keep the following tips in mind:
   • Keep a window or door to the outdoors open;
   • Vacuum the area where the bulb was broken using the vacuum hose, if available; and
   • Remove the vacuum bag (or empty and wipe the canister) and seal the bag/vacuum debris, and any materials used to clean the vacuum, in a plastic bag.

5. Promptly place all bulb debris and cleanup materials, including vacuum cleaner bags, outdoors in a trash container or protected area until materials can be disposed of properly.
   • Check with your local or state government about disposal requirements in your area. Some states and communities require fluorescent bulbs (broken or unbroken) be taken to a local recycling center.

6. Wash your hands with soap and water after disposing of the jars or plastic bags containing bulb debris and cleanup materials.

7. Continue to air out the room where the bulb was broken and leave the H&AC system shut off, as practical, for several hours.

Cleanup Steps for Carpeting or Rugs

1. Carefully scoop up glass fragments and powder using stiff paper or cardboard and place debris and paper/cardboard in a glass jar with a metal lid. If a glass jar is not available, use a sealable plastic bag. (NOTE: Since a plastic bag will not prevent the mercury vapor from escaping, remove the plastic bag(s) from the home after cleanup.)

2. Use sticky tape, such as duct tape, to pick up any remaining small glass fragments and powder. Place the used tape in the glass jar or plastic bag.

3. Vacuuming of carpeting or rugs during cleanup is not recommended unless broken glass remains after all other cleanup steps have been taken. [NOTE: It is possible that vacuuming could spread mercury-containing powder or mercury vapor, although available information on this problem is limited.] If vacuuming is needed to ensure removal of all broken glass, keep the following tips in mind:
   • Keep a window or door to the outdoors open;
   • Vacuum the area where the bulb was broken using the vacuum hose, if available, and
   • Remove the vacuum bag (or empty and wipe the canister) and seal the bag/vacuum debris, and any materials used to clean the vacuum, in a plastic bag.

4. Promptly place all bulb debris and cleanup materials, including vacuum cleaner bags, outdoors in a trash container or protected area until materials can be disposed of properly.
   • Check with your local or state government about disposal requirements in your area. Some states and communities require fluorescent bulbs (broken or unbroken) be taken to a local recycling center.

5. Wash your hands with soap and water after disposing of the jars or plastic bags containing bulb debris and cleanup materials.

6. Continue to air out the room where the bulb was broken and leave the H&AC system shut off, as practical, for several hours
   

Future Cleaning of Carpeting or Rugs: Air Out the Room During and After Vacuuming

1. The next several times you vacuum the rug or carpet, shut off the H&AC system if you have one, close the doors to other rooms, and open a window or door to the outside before vacuuming. Change the vacuum bag after each use in this area.

2. After vacuuming is completed, keep the H&AC system shut off and the window or door to the outside open, as practical, for several hours.

Heh. Nuclear power and cigarettes are bad but these light bulbs are super awesome...and 20% dimmer.

The Republicans in Congress brought this ridiculous federal ban up for repeal and failed. The Republicans who voted against the repeal (HR 2417) are:

Rep. Tom Reed (NY-29)

Rep. Dave Reichert (WA-8)

Rep. Scott Rigell (VA-2)

Rep. Glenn Thompson (PA-5)

Rep. Rob Bishop (UT-1) - voted "present"

Rep. Charles Bass (NH-2)

Rep. Brian Bilbray (CA-50)

Rep. Scott Garrett (NJ-5)

Rep. Morgan Griffith (VA-9)

Rep. Richard Hanna (NY-24)

Rep. Tim Huelskamp (KS-1)

Be sure to let them know how you feel.

Thanks to Meredith Dake for this list.

UPDATE: Thanks to my friend Brian Wood for reminding me that it was Dubya who signed the original 822 page bill which phased out the evil incandescent light bulb in 2007. Another one of George's "big government" boo-boos. #badgeorge

Migraines and Remedies and Shoes

Hey Kids (<- capitalized because you *are* important),

I wanted to share something with you because sharing is caring and I care...somewhat. Anyway, I suffer from, I hate cliches. I get hormonal migraines, I don't like the way that sounds.

I get menstrual migraines. Sorry, that's a bit more graphic and specific yet accurate. While I'm being specific and in case you're a doctor who wants to send me Vicodin, I only get them when I ovulate on one side and never while doing so on the other. I also had an ovarian cyst removed on that side half a score ago (you like it when I go all Abe Lincoln on you, dontcha?). The point of this post isn't to bitch it's to HELP. Seriously. Read on, I'm helpful and drunk.

Usually caffeine (most often in the form of strong coffee) and multiple masturbation sessions is my go-to migraine remedy but this month I was visited by a very special caffeine, orgasm (I know, GASP!) resistant, stomach turning varietal Migraine (<-capitalized for emphasis) which caused me to spend a lot of time whining in the room with the toilet. Sorry, again.

It should be noted that I have tried almost every prescription migraine medicine, none of them work...for me. And if you know me, you know I love pills. Please note: Vicodin is not technically a "migraine medicine", however it works for everything and I highly recommend using it whenever you can and are blah, blah prescribed it by a licensed physician blah. Cutting to the chase Dammit! Another cliche. If you also get migraines and you, like me, have tried EVERYTHING. Save yourself a trip to the doctor's office (unless your doctor is hot) and go to your local/favorite store that sells candy and buy a big package of Lifesaver Wint-O-Green candies, eat and repeat until your head feels like as normal as it did the day before.

You can thank me later or now...donate to the fund, I need these shoes and you didn't buy me anything for my birthday.

Cheers!