Tonight on Smart Girl Report...ME!

Okay...so apparently Jenny Erikson has lost her mind or a bet, I'm not sure which; because, today she interviewed me for her radio show, Smart Girl Report. Why? I have no idea. Is it opposite day? Hmmm.

A few points:

1. I did not drink before or during the interview. If it sucks, blame this.

2. I am drinking now.

3. Jenny has a lovely phone/radio voice.

4. I'm just getting over a cold and may or may not sound like the spawn of Helen Thomas.

5. I can't remember exactly what we chatted about, tho I'm certain we were interesting, charming and smart or something...at least half of us. I was too focused on not saying any curse words. I didn't. SUCCESS!

6. The last time I was on the radio was in 1988 to dedicate INXS - Never Tear Us Apart to my junior high boyfriend.

Tune in tonight at 10 pm ET. I'll be live drunk tweeting the interview and perhaps my suicide after.

Smooches Jenny! Thanks again (I think). *wink*

Also, special thanks to Sean Hackbarth. You're the cats pajamas.

Vodka Taste Test: The Results

After many weeks and many Advil I have come to the determination that vodka is not unlike toilet paper. There are many different kinds, some are smoother than others and there are some you'd wish you never tried. But, they all have one thing in common. . .they get the job done.

I've tried close to 70 different vodkas. I set out to try 100, but I think I'm done. I refuse to taste any of those Jolly Rancher-esque, artificially flavored bullshit varieties.

Of the nearly 70 that I sampled, most of them were palatable, few were like drinking fire water and even fewer were so crisp and clean that they mimicked something as pure as rainwater. Albeit, rainwater is free; vodka that tastes like rainwater is quite the opposite.

With a few exceptions, you really can't go wrong with vodka as a libation. Here's what you need to know:

1. Absolut wins the award for best marketing with the worst product. This wasn't news to me and should not be news to you. If you ask for Absolut by name, you are a fool and deserve the headache.

2. Russian vodkas are not created equal. For example Jewel of Russia Ultra made me purr while Russian Standard vodka could have fueled my lawnmower. Russian Standard's higher end sister Imperia was less offensive, but not as delicate and enticing as the Jewel. I am still on the lookout for a watering hole that offers Kauffman Luxury Vintage Vodka. At $225 a bottle, I'm intrigued.

3. Just because a celebrity is peddling it, don't be a sucker and buy it. In a blind taste test, I couldn't tell the difference between Ciroc, Crystal Head and Smirnoff Red Label. Also if you even consider purchasing Ed Hardy Vodka, please do me a favor and don't vote...ever.

Favorites (in no particular order):

Jewel of Russia Ultra
Vox
Tito's
Grey Goose
Ketel One
Jean Marc XO
Stoli Elite
42 Below
Svedka
Skyy